Funny Text Messages:

1. Be Practical!
   If your suitor will ask you what you want
   Chocolate? Flower? Stuff Toy?
   Necklace?
   Ohh… Be practical girl!
   Bigas! Girl Bigas!
2. I was sad till I saw
   a man without two arms
   Shaking his shoulder and Jumping with joy
   When I ask why he is happy
   He replied, I’m not happy
   Katol ako ilok, kalota ra god.
3. Usa ka maestra naghikog
   Gilamoy tanan chalk
   Maayo gani kay naabtan sa principal
   Gipatomar ug eraser
   Kaluoy sa dios, nakalibang ug blackboard

- Pinoy Text Messages

1. Kung gusto mong mag-asawa
   Hanapin mo yung mataba
   Bumagyo man at bumaha
   Mayron kang magamit na panangga
2. Noon, ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika
   Ay mas mabaho pa sa malansang isda.
   Pero ngayon, ang hindi nagmahal sa sariling wika
   Ay nagtatrabaho sa call center.
3. Noon, ang mga seaman ay simanloloko.
   Pero ngayon, ang mga seaman ay
   simangnaloko ng mga asawa.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Here’s my composed text messages related to the LET:

1. Nairelease na ang 2008 LET result?
   Kaso lahat ng nagtake ng September 2008 exam
   Wala sa list! Pano kasi yung inirelease ay yung
   result sa April 2008!
2. I can’t wait for the result na,
   Sobra ang tagal!
   Hihimatayin na ako dito.
   Pero pag marelease na, paki gising ako!
3. Ate: (Sa phone) Kuya, pakisend sakin agad nung result pag mairelease na
   (Natanggap na ang result)
   Ate: Kuya! Ba’t result sa medical exam itong pinadala mo.
   September 2008 LET exam ang pinakisuyo ko sayo.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Those who want to kid them through text messages, here’s the list of my own composition of the text messages for the September 2008 LET result.

1. Announcement:
   The September 2008 LET result
   is already released by the PRC
   and lots of 2006 examinees passed the exam!
2. Man 1: Pre, bat kaya tagal nairelease yung September 2008 LET result?
   Man 2: Malapit na pre mairelease, inaasikasu pa ang PAROLE nito
3. Woman 1: Tagal naman ng September 2008 LET result. Natatae na ako sa kahihintay!
   Woman 2: A Maam, wag po kayong mag-alala darating din yung September 2008 LET result, natraffic lang po yata sa EDSA.

- Pinoy Text Messages

I have here few “Tagalog Jokes SMS” sent to me by my friends:

1. Sexy: Maawa ka! Meron ako! Meron ako!
   Rapist: ahhh! Walang meron meron sa akin! Tuwad!
   Sexy: Wagggg!
   Rapist: Ngi! Meron ka nga! Meron kang itlog! Bakla!
2. Ina: Wow! galing talaga ng anak ko sa Math. Sige nga tanungin kita.
   Anak: Sige
   Ina: Kung bibigyan kita ng 3 apples, at bibigyan ka ng papa mo ng 4 apples. Anong sagot mo?
   Anak: Salamat!
3. Aplikante: Sir, gusto ko pong magsundalo.
   Officer: Di ka pwede. Sira mga ngipin mo…
   Aplikante: Bakit sir, ang gyera ba ngayon ay lips to lips na?

- Pinoy Text Messages

So much for that, I have here funny halloween text messages that I composed by my self. However, I don’t know if they really are funny text messages:

1. One day, after drinking a shot of wine, the witch get her broom and fly with it.
   After flying few meters, she hit the trunk of the tree and crashed.
2. Pumpkins….
   Pumpkins ….
   Pampers….

- Pinoy Text Messages

1. Because you are my friend
   What ever you want I want
   What ever you say I say
   What ever you hate I hate
   Where ever you go I go
   Where you are I are
2. Son: Dad! I have problem
   Father: What’s your problem, Son?
   Son: Dad, I’m afraid to be circumcised
   Father: Don’t worry son, I will support you even if I am uncircumcised…
3. Pregnant wife awakened from deep coma
   Doctor: You had twins boy and girl. Your brother named them.
   Mother: Not my brother! His an idiot. What’s the name of the girl?
   Doctor: Denise
   Mother: Ok. and the boy?
   Doctor: Denephew

- Pinoy Text Messages

And here are some of the Pinoy Funniest Text Joke in my archive which you can send to your friends:

1. Anak: Bakit po si Itay wala nang buhok sa ulo?
   Nanay: Dami kasi siya isip…
   Anak: Eh kayo po, bakit marami kayo buhok? Wala kayo isip?
   Nanay: Wag ka ngang maingay dyan!
2. Pedro at Juan manonood ng sine. Natigilan si Pedro.
   Pedro: Uwi na lang tayo. Puno na.
   Juan: Pano mo nalaman?
   Pedro: Di mo ba nabasa yun sa pinto? PULL
3. Junith: Hoy! Ang cute ng baboy mo!
   Selboy: Honey hindi ito baboy, pusa to!
   Junith: Honey, hindi ikaw ang kausap ko. Ang pusa mo ang kausap ko!

- Pinoy Text Messages

So much for that, here are few of the samples of naughty texts between couples. I’m sorry if these text messages are not really naughty texts. These are just my own composition:

1. What kind of milk would you feed to your newly born baby,
   canned milk or breast milk?
   Well, of course, canned milk is best for my baby,
   While breast milk is for daddy.
2. Where ever you go, and what ever you do,
   Honey please don’t forget to bring you my “P”
   Just kiss it if you’ll miss me
   Smell its odor if you need me.
3. Honey, you really are so sweet,
   Katunayan, pudpud na ngipin ko sa kaki-kiss sa yo.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Here’s the list of the Pinoy Funny Text Forwards copied from my archives:

1. Girlfriend: Ihi sa ko
   Boyfriend: Diha na lang sa daplin. Ngitngit bitaw
   Samtang nangihi, gihikap sa BF ang legs sa GF ug naay nagunitan
   Boyfriend: Hala, nagpasex change ka?
   Girlfriend: Amaw! Nagchange na akong mind! Nalibang na lang ko imbis nga mangihi lang
2. Girl: Padre ako ikumpisal ako uyab. Uwagan kaayo, bisan sa dagat kuanon ko
   Pari: Mura isda
   Girl: Sahay sa taas sa lubi
   Pari: Mura kaboy
   Girl: Sahay sa gilid sa simbahan
   Pari: Jesus, mura ako!
3. FLASH REPORT:
   A teacher wanted to take her own life,
   She ate all the chalks in her room.
   Good news, the principal arrived
   and she let the teacher eat the eraser.
   Thanks God, the teacher shit the blackboard.

- Pinoy Text Messages