I have here few “Tagalog Jokes SMS” sent to me by my friends:

1. Sexy: Maawa ka! Meron ako! Meron ako!
   Rapist: ahhh! Walang meron meron sa akin! Tuwad!
   Sexy: Wagggg!
   Rapist: Ngi! Meron ka nga! Meron kang itlog! Bakla!
2. Ina: Wow! galing talaga ng anak ko sa Math. Sige nga tanungin kita.
   Anak: Sige
   Ina: Kung bibigyan kita ng 3 apples, at bibigyan ka ng papa mo ng 4 apples. Anong sagot mo?
   Anak: Salamat!
3. Aplikante: Sir, gusto ko pong magsundalo.
   Officer: Di ka pwede. Sira mga ngipin mo…
   Aplikante: Bakit sir, ang gyera ba ngayon ay lips to lips na?

- Pinoy Text Messages

Free SMS means two things. The first meaning of Free SMS is Free text messages. The second meaning of the Free SMS is Free Text Messaging.

Free text messages means, precomposed text messages that can be copied and are free to be sent to your friends and loveones.

Free text messaging on the other hand, are services that offer text messaging services that cost nothing. The example of Free text messaging is the free service offered by Chikka.com.

So much for that, I have here free SMS or text messages for you:

1. When it reains, you don’t see the sun
   but it’s there
   Hope we can be ike that
   We don’t always see each other
   But we will always be there for each other…
2. The joy that you give to others
   is the joy that flows back to you
   A happy heart makes a cheeful face
   May your day be as lovely as your heart,
   Have a nice day
3. The night is designed to end the worries
   And fears of the day
   It signifies to leave it? all to God
   and prepare for another day to come
   Have a peaceful sleep.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Isang gabi, sumakay ng taxi
ang isang studyanteng babae.
Papauwi sya sa kaniyang dorm.

Ilang metro pa lang ang takbo
ng taxi nang biglang
bumilis ang takbo nito.

Babae: Manong
dahandahan lang baka
mabangga tayo.

Driver: Pasensya ka na eneng.
Kanina nang tingnan kita dito
sa salamin nakita kong may
katabi kang tao pero wala siyang
laman kundi puro kalansay lang.

Horror Text Jokes 2

Kung may malagong kahoy
sa tabi ng bahay niyo.
Kausapin mo na tatay mo
na maipaputol ito
Dahil dito nagtatago ang
mga aswang tuwing
bilog ang buwan habang
nagmamasid sa iyo.

Horror Text Jokes 3

Wag kang matulog
malapit sa bintana
upang wag kang mabiktima
ng mga manananggal.

Horror Text Jokes 4

Will please visit me at my tomb
If you will not visit me there
I will stay here in your room
tomorrow evening.

Your late grandpa.

Horror Text Jokes 5

Alam mo ba kung bakit
napapanaginipan mo ako?

Ang totoo, nandito ako
sa tabi mo habang
natutulog ka.

Kahit kaluluwa na lang ako,
masaya pa rin akong
kasama ka.

Any text messages that contains the message: “I love You”, “I miss you” can already be considered Romantic SMS. Here are few of the Romantic SMS that I composed by my self:

1. It’s raining here
   The wind is strong
   I really feel cold
   I wish you are here
   Giving me the warmth I need.
   I miss you so much.
2. I already laid my self on bed
   I closed my eyes to see nothing
   But I always see your face within
   Your eyes are staring me
   Your hands caress my loneliness
   I miss your hugs and kisses.
   I love you Darling!
3. Whereever you are
   whatever you do
   I’ll be here waiting for you
   Heaven knows how I miss you
   Wish you are here beside me.

hmmm… sometimes composing Romantic SMS is really fun. And I found it so easy especially if I try to write what I really feel.

- Pinoy Text Messages

1. Lagi nating naririnig
   Ang lines na dito lang ako
   Pag kailangan mo ako with matching anytime
   And promise pa, pero di ba mas maganda
   If I will tell you na wala akong kwenta
   Pero baka matulungan kita….
2. Dati ang unggoy
   Pasaging-saging
   Pabaging-baging
   Pakuto-kuto
   Ngayon ang unggoy
   Papindot-pindot
   Patext-text
   O ayon pangiti-ngiti pa
   O sige ipasa mo pa ito sa ibang unggoy
3. Sumulat si Malaki sa kanyang tatay
   Dear Tatay, padalhan mo kami ng
   isang kilong bigas at isang dosenang itlog
   ang inyong anak, Malaki.
   Si Malaki ay lumabas at pumasok si Maliit.
   Napunit ni Maliit ang sulat
   Dinikitan ng tape. Inutusan ni Malaki si Maliit
   na ihulog ang sulat.
   Pagbasa ng kanilang tatay,
   Dear bigas, padalhan mo kami ng isang
   kilong tatay at isang dosenang anak.
   Ang inyong itlog Malaki.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Actually, they are not really funny Filipino phrase. They became funny if you really know what’s the right term to use instead of using those phrases or terms.

1. Brown Out (Power outage)
2. Pinaka-latest (The latest)
3. Diretso sa kaliwa (turn left)
4. Black board (chalk board)
5. Magcommute, Magmotor, Magjeep
6. Presidentiable (Candidate for President)
7. Thick Face (opposite of shy)
8. Kill the light (turn off the light)
9. Pagbitay na (surigaonon phrase)
10. Pagbuyat na (surigaonon phrase)

- Pinoy Text Messages

1. Kung gusto mong mag-asawa
   Hanapin mo yung mataba
   Bumagyo man at bumaha
   Mayron kang magamit na panangga
2. Noon, ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika
   Ay mas mabaho pa sa malansang isda.
   Pero ngayon, ang hindi nagmahal sa sariling wika
   Ay nagtatrabaho sa call center.
3. Noon, ang mga seaman ay simanloloko.
   Pero ngayon, ang mga seaman ay
   simangnaloko ng mga asawa.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Here they are:

1. Wife 1: (while eating cooked sweet potato) You know, this sweet potato reminds me of my husband’s balls…
   Wife 2: Reminds you of what? Balls’ size?
   Wife 1: No! It reminds me of how dirty are my husband’s balls.
2. Wife: (During sex) hey! I am not enjoying this intercourse. Your penis is too small.
   Husband: Don’t ever tell me that my penis is too small. It’s not my penis that is too small but your vagina which is too big.
3. Husband 1: (with his midwife wife) Where are you going? My wife is here to assist your wife deliver your child.
   Husband 2: I’m sorry, but I will bring my wife to the nearest hospital. Your wife doesn’t know how to repair vagina after giving birth.

- Pinoy Text Messages

The following halloween SMS messages are all my personal composition:

1. Halloween might be a celebration with the use of evil costumes
   But in my heart, I am not worshiping not even honoring any evil creatures
   Halloween is just my way of making myself happy.
   Happy Halloween
2. People participate the trick-or-treat, others are in the costume parties
   And what ever you are doing now, just don’t forget that I am here
   waiting for your text messages.
   Happy Halloween
3. Sometimes, I want to be afraid of any not visible things
   Sometimes, I want to scream
   But your memories give me strength
   Your love give me power against the evil
   Wish you are here.
   Miss you so much my love. Happy halloween

- Pinoy Text Messages

However, on this post, I will be sharing you the few of my personally composed SMS or text messages that are related to “Undelete”.

1. Husband: Honey! Why are hitting your head with that board eraser?
   Wife: I am just trying to undelete the memories of you when were are still newly wed couple.
   Husband: Why?
   Wife: Because that time, you are still active in bed.
2. Teacher: Selboy! You’re sleeping while I am talking here.
   Selboy: I’m sorry ma’am. I really feel sleepy.
   Teacher: Okay, you’ll talk here and I will listen. Discuss about “Undelete” and tell us what you learn about it.
   Selboy: But ma’am, I need to sleep again for me to undelete all the documents that I deleted from the computer disk in my dream!
3. Selboy: Honey, please undelete all the files you deleted.
   Junith: Honey, I can’t undelete them.
   Selboy: Why, could you not undelete those files?
   Junith: Because, I did not delete any files.

- Pinoy Text Messages