Here’s the list of the Pinoy Funny Text Forwards copied from my archives:

1. Girlfriend: Ihi sa ko
   Boyfriend: Diha na lang sa daplin. Ngitngit bitaw
   Samtang nangihi, gihikap sa BF ang legs sa GF ug naay nagunitan
   Boyfriend: Hala, nagpasex change ka?
   Girlfriend: Amaw! Nagchange na akong mind! Nalibang na lang ko imbis nga mangihi lang
2. Girl: Padre ako ikumpisal ako uyab. Uwagan kaayo, bisan sa dagat kuanon ko
   Pari: Mura isda
   Girl: Sahay sa taas sa lubi
   Pari: Mura kaboy
   Girl: Sahay sa gilid sa simbahan
   Pari: Jesus, mura ako!
3. FLASH REPORT:
   A teacher wanted to take her own life,
   She ate all the chalks in her room.
   Good news, the principal arrived
   and she let the teacher eat the eraser.
   Thanks God, the teacher shit the blackboard.

- Pinoy Text Messages

1. Because you are my friend
   What ever you want I want
   What ever you say I say
   What ever you hate I hate
   Where ever you go I go
   Where you are I are
2. Son: Dad! I have problem
   Father: What’s your problem, Son?
   Son: Dad, I’m afraid to be circumcised
   Father: Don’t worry son, I will support you even if I am uncircumcised…
3. Pregnant wife awakened from deep coma
   Doctor: You had twins boy and girl. Your brother named them.
   Mother: Not my brother! His an idiot. What’s the name of the girl?
   Doctor: Denise
   Mother: Ok. and the boy?
   Doctor: Denephew

- Pinoy Text Messages

Below are the “funny text messages forwards” that my friends and loveones sent me. They are all of course forwarded text messages which they received from their friends too.

1. Boy: Pal, we just finished taking the exam. Let’s eat naman.
   Jun: Ohh sure.
   Boy: May alam akong mura pero malalaking Siopao!
   Jun: Mura nga! Saang tindahan yon?
   Boy: Sa China! Tara na!
2. Erap: (Singing) MIle away, you’re so many mile away from me…
   Loi: Lagyan mo ng S para maging tama!
   Erap: Smile away, you’re so many smile away from me…
   Loi: Ngi!
3. Wife 1: You know, you’re so very lucky your children are beautiful and handsome.
   Wife 2: Yeah, I know. I really tried enough hard. I just couldn’t rely on my husband or else, my children will be looked like weird thing.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Here’re few of the Pinoy funny text. They’re Pinoy na Pinoy and Funny as in Funny!

1. Doctor: Ikinalulungkot ko, you have brain tumor.
   Patient: Pero Dok, they way I have no brain and now you say I have two more!
2. Ang mahal pala ng leather na gawa sa buwaya!
   Kaya dapat mautak ka… kasi mataas na pala ang face value mo
3. Question: What’s the social term for UTOT?
   Answer: Careles Whisper.
   Question: What did the napkin say to the UTOT?
   Answer: You are the wind beneath the wings!

Funny di ba? Ohhh pag di ka natatawa, ewan ko kung anong klaseng tao ka. Baka hindi ka Pinoy kaya hindi mo nafeel ang pagiging funny ng mga text na ito?

- Pinoy Text Messages

Karon nga magasaulog na usab kita
sa anibersaryo sa imong pagkahimugso
Dili ka man si Cristo pero mo-greet ko nimo
ug Merry Christmas

Bitaw… Happy Birthday

Funny Bisaya Birthday Wishes 2

Dili man nimo ipangutana
Ako na lang isulti nimo
Nga ako malipayon gayod
nga gidugangan pa ug laing
tuig ang imong kinabuhi
aron naa pay mopalit ug beer
ug sumsuman samtang kami
mag-inom.

Happy Birthday diha nimo.

Funny Bisaya Birthday Wishes 3

Karon nga imong birthday,
ako nanghinaut nga unga
lugwayan pa ang imong kinabuhi
ug dugangan pa ang imong
mga anak. Ayaw lang dugangi ang
imong asawa kay basin ug
dili ka na makaabot sa sunod
nimong birthday

Funny Bisaya Birthday Wishes 4

Bisan kami layo diha nimo
Apan dili namo malimtan
ang imong birthday
Labi na karon wala nay
mopainom namo dire ug mopasomsom.

Happy Birthday Pre!

Funny Bisaya Birthday Wishes 5

Bahalag way beer
bahalag way chicks
basta mokanta lang mi
sa mga panghinaut diha
sa imong birthday.

Happy Birthday

So much for that, I have here funny halloween text messages that I composed by my self. However, I don’t know if they really are funny text messages:

1. One day, after drinking a shot of wine, the witch get her broom and fly with it.
   After flying few meters, she hit the trunk of the tree and crashed.
2. Pumpkins….
   Pumpkins ….
   Pampers….

- Pinoy Text Messages

Just for the visitors of this blog who find “Cute Text Forwards” for the first time, “Cute Text Forwards” means text messages which are considered cute or beautiful and are just forwarded by other texters to the other texters.

Here are few of the “Cute Text Forwards” that you can also forward to your loveones and friends:

1. Start a new day with a clean heart
   No tears, no fear, no worry
   be happy!
2. The quality of your life depends on
   How you love the things you do…
   How you love the things you love…
   And how you love the one who loves you.
3. A simple text means I care
   Enough to flex my thumb
   Search your name, wait for a “message sent”
   Then think of you and smile as I say …

- Pinoy Text Messages

Hmmm… Below are funny love SMS or text messages. I am not really sure if they’re funny but I think they are:

1. Na feel mo na ba yong
   Akala mo wala na ako?
   As in wala, forever gone na?
   Then one day, I texted you.
   You smile and then you said,
   “Agay! Ang samukan buhi pa diay!”
2. I saw somebody on the top of the building
   He’ll kill herself. I asked why?
   Ibog daw siya sa relasyon nato,
   Ingon niya ilogon daw ka?
   Toink!!! I pushed him off the building
   I said, just kill your self.
3. Last night I dreamed of you
   We are in a private place
   We kissed each other
   Pero badtrip ang baho ng hininga mo dear!
   Pero di bale, hindi naman talaga yun bibig mo
   Kundi pwet mo!

- Pinoy Text Messages

Funny lawyer joke texts are the joke text messages related to lawyers and their works in the court or at their office.

The following funny lawyer joke text are my own composition.

1. Client: Atty, mananalo kaya tayo nyan?
   Lawyer: Akong bahala. Basta magtiwala ka sa akin.
   Client: Anong gagawin ko Atty, para makatulong sayo at nang mapasiguro ang pagkapanalo natin?
   Lawyer: OK! Bigyan mo ko ng 3,000 pesos. Dito tayo sa pinag-aagawang manok, sigurado malakas to, magaling… panalo tayo nito.
   Client: Ngi!
2. Lawyer: Hindi ba’t noong gabi, isang oras bago pinatay ang asawa mo ay magkasama kayo sa inyong kuwarto?
   Akusado: Hindi po! Nasa kotse po ako noon.
   Lawyer: Kung nasa kotse ka noong mga oras na iyon, sino ang kasama mo?
   Akusado: Kasama ko po noon si… si…. si…
   Lawyer: Sino. Sabihin? mo sa harap ng hukuman sino ang kasama mo?
   Akusado: Kasama ko po ang asawa niyo doon sa backseat ng kotse kaya hindi ko po talaga alam sinong pumatay sa asawa ko!
3. Pedro: Kung papipiliin po kayo, sino pipiliin mo: Si Abogado o si Satanas?
   Juan: Sa Abogado ako.
   Pedro: Bakit?
   Juan: Si satanas ay kayang kayang ipapakulong ng abugado at ipapatalo kaso nito para maitapon siya sa empyerno.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Actually, they are not really funny Filipino phrase. They became funny if you really know what’s the right term to use instead of using those phrases or terms.

1. Brown Out (Power outage)
2. Pinaka-latest (The latest)
3. Diretso sa kaliwa (turn left)
4. Black board (chalk board)
5. Magcommute, Magmotor, Magjeep
6. Presidentiable (Candidate for President)
7. Thick Face (opposite of shy)
8. Kill the light (turn off the light)
9. Pagbitay na (surigaonon phrase)
10. Pagbuyat na (surigaonon phrase)

- Pinoy Text Messages