Pinoy Text Messages » Search Results » beach+party+joke http://www.pinoytextmessages.com Christmas Message, Funny Text Messages, Valentines Text Messages, Halloween Text Messages, Graduation Day SMS Messaging, SMS Jokes, Funny Inspirational Friendly Message, Sayings, Romantic Sexy Love Quotes, Text Messages Tue, 13 Dec 2011 09:29:54 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Naughty Text Jokes http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/naughty-text-jokes/ http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/naughty-text-jokes/#comments Tue, 04 Nov 2008 02:48:10 +0000 Junith http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/?p=172 Last Sunday, November 2, 2008, my husband and I along with my friends went to a beach party. During the beach party, my friends shared lots of naughty text jokes. I failed to write the naughty text jokes that I heard but I still remember some of the naughty text jokes.

Here they are:

  1. Wife 1: (while eating cooked sweet potato) You know, this sweet potato reminds me of my husband’s balls…
    Wife 2: Reminds you of what? Balls’ size?
    Wife 1: No! It reminds me of how dirty are my husband’s balls.
  2. Wife: (During sex) hey! I am not enjoying this intercourse. Your penis is too small.
    Husband: Don’t ever tell me that my penis is too small. It’s not my penis that is too small but your vagina which is too big.
  3. Husband 1: (with his midwife wife) Where are you going? My wife is here to assist your wife deliver your child.
    Husband 2: I’m sorry, but I will bring my wife to the nearest hospital. Your wife doesn’t know how to repair vagina after giving birth.

- Pinoy Text Messages

]]> http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/naughty-text-jokes/feed/ 2 Horror Text Jokes 1 to 5 http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/horror-text-jokes-1-to-5/ http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/horror-text-jokes-1-to-5/#comments Tue, 07 Dec 2010 03:39:43 +0000 Junith http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/?p=847 Horror Text Jokes 1

Isang gabi, sumakay ng taxi
ang isang studyanteng babae.
Papauwi sya sa kaniyang dorm.

Ilang metro pa lang ang takbo
ng taxi nang biglang
bumilis ang takbo nito.

Babae: Manong
dahandahan lang baka
mabangga tayo.

Driver: Pasensya ka na eneng.
Kanina nang tingnan kita dito
sa salamin nakita kong may
katabi kang tao pero wala siyang
laman kundi puro kalansay lang.

Horror Text Jokes 2

Kung may malagong kahoy
sa tabi ng bahay niyo.
Kausapin mo na tatay mo
na maipaputol ito
Dahil dito nagtatago ang
mga aswang tuwing
bilog ang buwan habang
nagmamasid sa iyo.

Horror Text Jokes 3

Wag kang matulog
malapit sa bintana
upang wag kang mabiktima
ng mga manananggal.

Horror Text Jokes 4

Will please visit me at my tomb
If you will not visit me there
I will stay here in your room
tomorrow evening.

Your late grandpa.

Horror Text Jokes 5

Alam mo ba kung bakit
napapanaginipan mo ako?

Ang totoo, nandito ako
sa tabi mo habang
natutulog ka.

Kahit kaluluwa na lang ako,
masaya pa rin akong
kasama ka.

]]> http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/horror-text-jokes-1-to-5/feed/ 1 Lawyer Joke Text Messages http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/lawyer-joke-text-messages/ http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/lawyer-joke-text-messages/#comments Tue, 30 Sep 2008 01:54:56 +0000 Junith http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/?p=83 After publishing my personally composed Funny Lawyer Joke Text, I then found it more interesting to publish more lawyer joke text messages which you can send to your friends and loveones. This jokes text messages on lawyer might not be funny but at least you have something for them to send.

  1. Client: Atty, can you please write an Affidavit of Loss for me?
    Lawyer: Affidavit of Loss? What are the things that you lost?
    Client: I lost my wife Atty.
  2. Question: What is the other name of lawyer?
    Answer: Attorney at law
    Question: What do you call the client of lawyer?
    Answer: Financier of Attorney
  3. SELBOY: Alam mo, walang makakatalo sa tatay ko
    Junith: Bakit? Ano ba tatay mo?
    SELBOY: CPA Lawyer tatay ko
    Junith: Ganoon ba? Kaya pala nasa pyesta lagi tatay mo.

Sorry, but I think, these lawyer joke text messages that I composed are not really funny.

- Pinoy Text Messages

]]> http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/lawyer-joke-text-messages/feed/ 0 Pinoy Funniest Text Joke http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/pinoy-funniest-text-joke/ http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/pinoy-funniest-text-joke/#comments Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:44:43 +0000 Junith http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/?p=110 Some people search for the Pinoy Funny Text Jokes. However, more people are looking for the Pinoy Funniest Text Jokes. Maybe because Filipino are funny. And I think also that this is because Filipino wanted to hear funny jokes.

And here are some of the Pinoy Funniest Text Joke in my archive which you can send to your friends:

  1. Anak: Bakit po si Itay wala nang buhok sa ulo?
    Nanay: Dami kasi siya isip…
    Anak: Eh kayo po, bakit marami kayo buhok? Wala kayo isip?
    Nanay: Wag ka ngang maingay dyan!
  2. Pedro at Juan manonood ng sine. Natigilan si Pedro.
    Pedro: Uwi na lang tayo. Puno na.
    Juan: Pano mo nalaman?
    Pedro: Di mo ba nabasa yun sa pinto? PULL
  3. Junith: Hoy! Ang cute ng baboy mo!
    Selboy: Honey hindi ito baboy, pusa to!
    Junith: Honey, hindi ikaw ang kausap ko. Ang pusa mo ang kausap ko!

- Pinoy Text Messages

]]> http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/pinoy-funniest-text-joke/feed/ 4 Funny Lawyer Joke Text http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/funny-lawyer-joke-text/ http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/funny-lawyer-joke-text/#comments Fri, 26 Sep 2008 06:46:58 +0000 Junith http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/?p=75 We already had posted Pinoy funny text messages that are related to Doctor and Patients. Now, let’s try to compose a funny lawyer joke text.

Funny lawyer joke texts are the joke text messages related to lawyers and their works in the court or at their office.

The following funny lawyer joke text are my own composition.

  1. Client: Atty, mananalo kaya tayo nyan?
    Lawyer: Akong bahala. Basta magtiwala ka sa akin.
    Client: Anong gagawin ko Atty, para makatulong sayo at nang mapasiguro ang pagkapanalo natin?
    Lawyer: OK! Bigyan mo ko ng 3,000 pesos. Dito tayo sa pinag-aagawang manok, sigurado malakas to, magaling… panalo tayo nito.
    Client: Ngi!
  2. Lawyer: Hindi ba’t noong gabi, isang oras bago pinatay ang asawa mo ay magkasama kayo sa inyong kuwarto?
    Akusado: Hindi po! Nasa kotse po ako noon.
    Lawyer: Kung nasa kotse ka noong mga oras na iyon, sino ang kasama mo?
    Akusado: Kasama ko po noon si… si…. si…
    Lawyer: Sino. Sabihin? mo sa harap ng hukuman sino ang kasama mo?
    Akusado: Kasama ko po ang asawa niyo doon sa backseat ng kotse kaya hindi ko po talaga alam sinong pumatay sa asawa ko!
  3. Pedro: Kung papipiliin po kayo, sino pipiliin mo: Si Abogado o si Satanas?
    Juan: Sa Abogado ako.
    Pedro: Bakit?
    Juan: Si satanas ay kayang kayang ipapakulong ng abugado at ipapatalo kaso nito para maitapon siya sa empyerno.

- Pinoy Text Messages

]]> http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/funny-lawyer-joke-text/feed/ 2 Tagalog Jokes http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/tagalog-jokes/ http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/tagalog-jokes/#comments Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:20:41 +0000 Junith http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/?p=185 Looking for tagalog Jokes? You’re in the right website. I already posted few tagalog jokes. And here’s another tagalog jokes:

  1. Kung gusto mong mag-asawa
    Hanapin mo yung mataba
    Bumagyo man at bumaha
    Mayron kang magamit na panangga
  2. Noon, ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika
    Ay mas mabaho pa sa malansang isda.
    Pero ngayon, ang hindi nagmahal sa sariling wika
    Ay nagtatrabaho sa call center.
  3. Noon, ang mga seaman ay simanloloko.
    Pero ngayon, ang mga seaman ay
    simangnaloko ng mga asawa.

- Pinoy Text Messages

]]> http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/tagalog-jokes/feed/ 51 Tagalog Jokes SMS http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/tagalog-jokes-sms/ http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/tagalog-jokes-sms/#comments Tue, 21 Oct 2008 13:04:02 +0000 Junith http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/?p=129 “Tagalog Jokes SMS” means “Pinoy Funny Text Messages“. I really wonder if you don’t know about the similarity of those phrases. So, if you found posts on this site about “Pinoy Funny Text Messages” then don’t wonder for anything else because they are also the so called “Tagalog Jokes SMS”.

I have here few “Tagalog Jokes SMS” sent to me by my friends:

  1. Sexy: Maawa ka! Meron ako! Meron ako!
    Rapist: ahhh! Walang meron meron sa akin! Tuwad!
    Sexy: Wagggg!
    Rapist: Ngi! Meron ka nga! Meron kang itlog! Bakla!
  2. Ina: Wow! galing talaga ng anak ko sa Math. Sige nga tanungin kita.
    Anak: Sige
    Ina: Kung bibigyan kita ng 3 apples, at bibigyan ka ng papa mo ng 4 apples. Anong sagot mo?
    Anak: Salamat!
  3. Aplikante: Sir, gusto ko pong magsundalo.
    Officer: Di ka pwede. Sira mga ngipin mo…
    Aplikante: Bakit sir, ang gyera ba ngayon ay lips to lips na?

- Pinoy Text Messages

]]> http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/tagalog-jokes-sms/feed/ 6 Free Text Messages http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/about/free-text-messages/ http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/about/free-text-messages/#comments Tue, 21 Oct 2008 02:57:49 +0000 Junith http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/?page_id=123 I know, you are looking for free text messages that you can send to your friends, loveones, and textmates. I posted lots of text messages on this site. Some of the text messages posted here are forwarded text messages to me from my loveones, friends and textmates. However, lots of text messages posted here are personally composed by me and my husband, “SELaplana“.

Just browse and scan all the pages of this site and you’ll get lots of free text messages. You don’t need to register. You don’t even need to ask permission from me. You don’t need to pay me. Just copy the text messages on this site and send them to all the people you know.

Start browsing the site through the Monthly Arhives:

You can also check the archives by Category:

Enjoy your stay!

]]> http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/about/free-text-messages/feed/ 8 Knock Knock Jokes http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/knock-knock-jokes/ http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/knock-knock-jokes/#comments Fri, 26 Mar 2010 02:57:27 +0000 Junith http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/?p=617 A set of 5 knock knock jokes that you can use to make your friends laugh or at least smile.

Knock Knock joke # 1

Sender: 0906-868-****

knock knock
amo: knock knock
chimay: who’s there?
amo: amo mo!
chimay: amo mo hah?
amo: hoy inday! papasukin mo aq tanga!
chimay: ikaw ang tanga! kumatok ka kasi, wag ka sumigaw ng ‘knock knock’, bobo!

]]> http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/knock-knock-jokes/feed/ 5 Bubble Gang Jokes http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/bubble-gang-jokes/ http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/bubble-gang-jokes/#comments Sat, 24 Jan 2009 03:30:48 +0000 Junith http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/?p=284 I was watching last night the Bubble Gang at the GMA7. They showed lots of jokes and were really funny.

Here’s the list of the few of the Bubble Gang Jokes. They’re not really copied in words by words because I couldn’t.

  1. Woman: Hoy! Ba’t ka namumutla? Parang nakakita ka ng multo.
    Man: Ikaw ang nakakita ng multo. Kagabi pa ako namatay!
  2. Woman: Ano bang nangyari ba’t ka nanginginig sa takot?
    Man: Nakita ko kasi asawa ko sa labas ng motel?
    Woman: Wala naman yatang kasama?
    Man: Siya walang kasama. E ako meron!
  3. Woman: Takot na tako ka.
    Man: Napagalitan ako ng tatay ko.
    Woman: Napagalitan ka lang ng tatay mo takot ka na?
    Man: Pano matagal nang patay tatay ko.
  4. Bakla: Tulong tulong tulong! May multo!
    Babae: San ang multo?
    Bakla: Hayan o sa may bintana!
    Babae: Gunggong! Mukha mo yan sa salamin.
]]> http://www.pinoytextmessages.com/bubble-gang-jokes/feed/ 15