Monthly Archives: September 2008

Lawyer Joke Text Messages

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After publishing my personally composed Funny Lawyer Joke Text, I then found it more interesting to publish more lawyer joke text messages which you can send to your friends and loveones. This jokes text messages on lawyer might not be funny but at least you have something for them to send.

  1. Client: Atty, can you please write an Affidavit of Loss for me?
    Lawyer: Affidavit of Loss? What are the things that you lost?
    Client: I lost my wife Atty.
  2. Question: What is the other name of lawyer?
    Answer: Attorney at law
    Question: What do you call the client of lawyer?
    Answer: Financier of Attorney
  3. SELBOY: Alam mo, walang makakatalo sa tatay ko
    Junith: Bakit? Ano ba tatay mo?
    SELBOY: CPA Lawyer tatay ko
    Junith: Ganoon ba? Kaya pala nasa pyesta lagi tatay mo.

Sorry, but I think, these lawyer joke text messages that I composed are not really funny.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Hot and Sexy Comments

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Are you looking for Friendster or MySpace comments, layouts, glitter images, or any animated images? Well, lots of these things here. Just browse your mind and you’ll find a lot.

No, just kidding. Actually, few of you, our visitors, requested me to include Friendster or MySpace comments, layouts, glitter images, or any animated images on this blog, but I just can’t do it now because I am still focusing my time for the text messages.

But then if you are really looking for the pre-composed comments that you can send to your friends, then why not consider these text messages.

  1. At times you’er sad about what’s going on with your life
    Just remember one permanent fact
    Everything cahnges, tomorrow might be different.
  2. Success in life can never be an accident
    It’s the result of hardwork and faith in God
    Champions are not the the people
    Who never fail, but the people
    who never quit!
  3. Don’t afraid to take risks
    And experience pain to achieve your dream
    Always remember, if you
    want a rainbow, you must first go…
    through the rain goodnight.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Naughty Text Messages

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While reading your request to post “Naughty Text Messages” my mind really wonders, what “Naughty Text Messages” means. Is it similar to “Funny Text Messages“? But I already post few “funny text messages” but then you still requested me to post “Naughty Text Messages”.

I even asked my wife and she just answered me that “Naughty Text messages” are similar “Funny Text Messages”. But then if they really have similarities, they should have differences too. So, I define first naughty usingt he Google’s definition feature.

Naughty according to the PRINSTON.EDU is also called blue or suggestive of sexual impropriety. By considering this definition, I found few text messages in my archive:

  1. SELBOY: Sir, you’re lucky enough to have a cute son. I think, he will be a good driver.
    JAMES: Why did you say that?
    SELBOY: He’s cute and really looks like your driver.
  2. AGENT ASERO: Ma’am according to my investigation, your husband really is checking in to 5 hotels in 5 days.
    LADY Q: And what was he doing in those hotels?
    AGEN ASERO: He’s following you ma’am in the hotels that you and your driver checked in with.
  3. SELBOY: Honey! I think you need to learn to cook for us to save 3,000 from getting a maid.
    WIFE: Honey! I think, you need to learn how to play me in bed for us to save 5,000 from our driver.

However, the WIKIPEDIA.ORG define it as tending to misbehave. And considering this definition, I got these text message:

  1. TEACHER: Selboy! why are you using your daddy’s underwear as your hat?
    SELBOY: Ma’am, my father told me that his under-HAIR (Pubic Hair) are thick, healthy, curly, and strong.
    TEACHER: Then what’s the relation of that in wearing underwear in your head.
    SELBOY: I think, this thing makes his under-HAIR thick, healthy, curly, and strong. I just want to have that kind of hair.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Funny Lawyer Joke Text

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We already had posted Pinoy funny text messages that are related to Doctor and Patients. Now, let’s try to compose a funny lawyer joke text.

Funny lawyer joke texts are the joke text messages related to lawyers and their works in the court or at their office.

The following funny lawyer joke text are my own composition.

  1. Client: Atty, mananalo kaya tayo nyan?
    Lawyer: Akong bahala. Basta magtiwala ka sa akin.
    Client: Anong gagawin ko Atty, para makatulong sayo at nang mapasiguro ang pagkapanalo natin?
    Lawyer: OK! Bigyan mo ko ng 3,000 pesos. Dito tayo sa pinag-aagawang manok, sigurado malakas to, magaling… panalo tayo nito.
    Client: Ngi!
  2. Lawyer: Hindi ba’t noong gabi, isang oras bago pinatay ang asawa mo ay magkasama kayo sa inyong kuwarto?
    Akusado: Hindi po! Nasa kotse po ako noon.
    Lawyer: Kung nasa kotse ka noong mga oras na iyon, sino ang kasama mo?
    Akusado: Kasama ko po noon si… si…. si…
    Lawyer: Sino. Sabihin? mo sa harap ng hukuman sino ang kasama mo?
    Akusado: Kasama ko po ang asawa niyo doon sa backseat ng kotse kaya hindi ko po talaga alam sinong pumatay sa asawa ko!
  3. Pedro: Kung papipiliin po kayo, sino pipiliin mo: Si Abogado o si Satanas?
    Juan: Sa Abogado ako.
    Pedro: Bakit?
    Juan: Si satanas ay kayang kayang ipapakulong ng abugado at ipapatalo kaso nito para maitapon siya sa empyerno.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Pinoy Funny Text

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Pinoy love funny text messages. That what I realize while reading the forwarded text messages that I received. Those text messages really are funny.

Here’re few of the Pinoy funny text. They’re Pinoy na Pinoy and Funny as in Funny!

  1. Doctor: Ikinalulungkot ko, you have brain tumor.
    Patient: Pero Dok, they way I have no brain and now you say I have two more!
  2. Ang mahal pala ng leather na gawa sa buwaya!
    Kaya dapat mautak ka… kasi mataas na pala ang face value mo
  3. Question: What’s the social term for UTOT?
    Answer: Careles Whisper.
    Question: What did the napkin say to the UTOT?
    Answer: You are the wind beneath the wings!

Funny di ba? Ohhh pag di ka natatawa, ewan ko kung anong klaseng tao ka. Baka hindi ka Pinoy kaya hindi mo nafeel ang pagiging funny ng mga text na ito?

- Pinoy Text Messages

Funny Text Messages Forwards

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Thank you so much for requesting me to post “funny text messages forwards” on this blog. It’s my pleasure to serve you by posting “funny text messages forwards”.

Below are the “funny text messages forwards” that my friends and loveones sent me. They are all of course forwarded text messages which they received from their friends too.

  1. Boy: Pal, we just finished taking the exam. Let’s eat naman.
    Jun: Ohh sure.
    Boy: May alam akong mura pero malalaking Siopao!
    Jun: Mura nga! Saang tindahan yon?
    Boy: Sa China! Tara na!
  2. Erap: (Singing) MIle away, you’re so many mile away from me…
    Loi: Lagyan mo ng S para maging tama!
    Erap: Smile away, you’re so many smile away from me…
    Loi: Ngi!
  3. Wife 1: You know, you’re so very lucky your children are beautiful and handsome.
    Wife 2: Yeah, I know. I really tried enough hard. I just couldn’t rely on my husband or else, my children will be looked like weird thing.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Graduation Text Messages

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The first semester of the Philippine School year 2008-2009 is now on its end. Your brother, your friend, your loveones, who ever they are, ay magtatapos na. Graduation na naman nila.

You don’t have gift for them? Then why not send them Graduation Text messages?

Here’s some of the Graduation text messages that I composed for you to freely use it. You can even edit these graduation text messages so that it will suit your preferences.

  1. Graduation na!
    Graduation na?
    Graduation na nga rin ba?
    Bro, ilang beses nang dumaan ang graduation
    Pero hanggang ngayon, first year ka pa rin.
    Happy graduation na lang sa kanila.
  2. This is not yet the end.
    This is just the beginning.
    You finished your studies,
    But it’s not yet the success,
    It’s just the beginning of hardship,
    That you should conquer,
    Because the real success
    Will be found at the end of your life.
    Congratulation!
  3. What is graduation?
    Graduation is the day of giving you
    the chance to finish your course
    even if you learned nothing.
    Nagsawa na teachers mo sa mukha mo,
    Kaya ka pinapasa na lang at ng mawala ka
    na sa harap nila!
    Happy graduation!

- Pinoy Text Messagse

Missing You Text Messages

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There are times that you really want to tell your loveone how you really miss her or him. But you couldn’t tell him or her frankly by telling him “MIssing you so much” because he or she is too far from you. But, the good thing is, he has his or her cellphone so what you can do now is to send him or her “Missing Your Text Messages“.

Missing you text messages is actually easy to compose. What you need to do is to reflect on everything you found at your home or in any place that reminds you of him or her. Then write it down on your cellphone and send it to her or him… and on the end part of the text message, add the phrase, “Missing you so much my dear!”

Here’s few of my own composition of “Missing You Text Messages”.

  1. If you only knew pa lamang,
    that I am keeping your unwashed underwear,
    Everytime I fell the emptiness in me,
    I just hug it, kiss it, and feel its odor.
    Missing you so much my love.
  2. Whereever you are,
    What ever you do,
    I just want to let you know,
    I miss you so much!
    Pano kasi wala nang mabaho sa tabi ko.
  3. Missing you makes me hungry
    Missing you makes me crazy
    Missing you makes me…
    Basta missing you, missing you, missing you
    Bahala ka basta missing you.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Waray Joke Text Message

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I recently receive a text message written in Waray. Waray a dialect of Samar and adjacent Leyte towns, including Tacloban City.

Here’s the Waray Joke Text message:

  • Ondoy: Dok, kay ano kon nainom ako han REDHORSE nasakit man it ako dughan. Pero kon libre ngani, dire man.
    Doctor: An imo baga manipis na. Pero an imo nawong madakmol pa.

My translation to this:

  • Man: Doc, I don’t know why everytime I drink REDHORSE beer, my chest aches. But if the beer is free, I feel fine.
    Doctor: Okay! Your lungs are too think already. However, your face is still too thick.

This text message in Waray is actually a joke. But if it is written in English, I don’t think English speaking people find it funny.

- Pinoy Text Messages

Cute Text Messages

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Are you really wondering if there are cute text messages available? Well. I think, you better avoid any cute text messages because you can’t read them. Cute text messages usually have cute size and cute meaning. If you are reading cute text messages always then time will come you’ll become acute.

No! Actually, I have here cute text messages. They’re not actually cute. These text messages just talk about cute people.

  1. Pag cute, arang samoka!
    Mao nga pasensya na long jud ka!
    Sabta lang jud ko, kay unsaon samokan man jud ko.
    Mas maayo pa siguro, sunduga na lang ko
    Aron macute pud ka.
  2. Maganda ang boses mo. Magtiwala ka
    May talent ka, Kaya mo yan
    Give it all, go on, hwag mong ikahiya
    Isigaw mo “Ginamos! Ginamos! tag 10 lang ang baso!”
  3. Suplada, Pero may itsura
    Isnabera pero sweet
    Siraulo pero mabait
    Puyat lagi pero cute pa rin.
    Ikaw gusto mong maging cute?
    Gayahin mo ako!

- Pinoy Text Messages